Rabbi Marc Berkson — Rosh Hashanah Eve — 5765

THAT WHICH WE SEEK
In Celebration of 350 Years of American Jewish Life
Rosh Hashanah Evening — 5765

5765 years ago, God created this world—for ha-yom ha-rat olam, for this is the day of the world’s birth. 350 years ago, twenty-three Jews fleeing Portuguese rule in Brazil came to the New World port of New Amsterdam, and there, in what would eventually become New York, truly find a home. So three stories on this birthday of the world, three stories in celebration of our arrival at home in this land.

This first is a story of an ad which ran prominently several years ago in The Los Angeles Times headlined “AN INVITATION TO SEEKERS” with the body of the ad laying out these specifics:

For people of all faiths and backgrounds who are unchurched and seek wisdom, ethics, meaning, and a community of warmth and welcome. Join (here followed a list of speakers) for a journey of wisdom and spirituality.

Four consecutive Wednesday seminars were listed for these seekers; each Wednesday was offered free.

The second is the story of a popular television show in which one of the primary characters changed religions in order to unite with a significant other.

Of course, neither story seems yet of great significance—but listen to the details. For the list of speakers in the ad included not the Revs. Billy Graham or Robert Schuller but rather the Rabbis Harold Schulweis and Ed Feinstein. Their general theme–”The Uniqueness of Judaism.” And they drew over 500 non-Jewish seekers to each of these four seminars–to Judaism and the Meaning of God; to Mend the World; to Sacred Calendar/Sacred Story; and to Coming Home.

And the second story concerns the plot of HBO’s “Sex and the City.” And, no, that primary character was not a Jew who shed Judaism to become more American. That primary character was Charlotte York, a classic WASP played by Kirsten Davis, who fell for one Harry Goldenblatt, played by Evan Handler. Not only did the show reflect the process of gerut, of conversion, with knowledge and sensitivity, but the show also held up, in the words of TV critic David Zurawik, “the Jewish man, on one level, and Judaism, on a deeper level,…as possibilities for fulfillment.” “Bridget Loves Bernie” this was not.

Both stories are stories which could only be told by American Jews today. So a third story–also true. My colleague, Chuck Sherman of Temple Israel in Tulsa, Oklahoma, gave a sermon a few years ago during the Yamim Nora’im, the High Holy Days, on conversion. In the midst of the sermon, Rabbi Sherman invited those non-Jews in the congregation who were interested in becoming Jewish to see him. Immediately following Yom Kippur, a long-time member of the congregation approached the rabbi to share with him his interest in conversion. Asked the rabbi in surprise, “Why did it take so long?” Came the response, “No one ever asked.”

No one ever asked. And so tonight, as we celebrate 5765 and as we celebrate 350 years of Jewish life in America, I promise, I will ask. In fact, I will ask several questions, some of which I will try to answer, others of which only you can answer. To begin, I ask tonight, why are we so afraid to ask people to become Jewish? Rabbi Schulweis came under heavy attack for his efforts to go out and convert non-Jews, similar to criticism directed against Rabbi Alexander Schindler when he first mentioned Outreach twenty-five years ago. What is it about, to use terminology coined by Dr. Gary Tobin, pro-active conversion that so frightens us? Why are we, right here at home, so afraid to ask?

For some of us, we cannot imagine asking anyone to join a tiny group of people which, throughout its history, has been beaten, oppressed, raped, and slaughtered; a people victimized by antisemitism; a people whose history of persecution culminated in the Holocaust just sixty years ago. Yet, at the same time, all those non-Jews out there in America surely are not antisemites who would want nothing to do with Jews. In fact, almost 90% of American non-Jews would welcome a marriage to a Jew. In other words, marriage to a Jew is something desirable reflecting respect and love and, yes, of being American.

For others of us, we insist that Jewish history will not allow us to ask, that Jewish history prohibits proselytizing. Jews simply do not go out seeking new Jews. Never have–never will. Some even assume that it thus must go against Jewish law and/or tradition. Yet Jewish proselytizing goes back to the first Jews, back to Abraham and Sarah who were, truth be told, converts themselves. And what did these first Jews do? They went out seeking other people to become Jewish! The ancient rabbis even tell us that Jews should endeavor to bring people under the wings of God’s presence just as Abraham and Sarah did (Avot de Rabbi Natan 12). Or, if you would rather work from numbers instead of texts, know that the great Jewish historian Salo Baron calculated that the Jewish population of the world grew from 150,000 when we were exiled from Jerusalem in 586 BCE to over 8,000,000 in the first century of the common era, comprising some 10% of the population of the Roman Empire. The only way such growth could have taken place would be through proselytization. Even in the pagan days of Rome, Judaism and Christianity competed with each other for proselytes. It was only after Judaism lost to Christianity, when Christianity became the official religion of Rome some 1600 years ago, that Jews stopped seeking new Jews. The historical fact that Jews do not seek proselytes was one imposed upon us externally by Rome, not internally by ourselves.

Still others of us find some textual basis for our refusal to ask. And there are some texts which clearly discourage welcoming non-Jews into Judaism emanating from the book of Ezra. But the most important text reflects the majority of the texts–that of the book of Ruth which we read on Shavuot. Ruth, not only a non-Jew but a Moabite, cries out to Naomi, “Your people shall be my people, and your God, my God” and Ruth goes on to become the great-grandmother of King David and the progenitor of the Messiah. Another text tells us that God holds those who choose Judaism even dearer than those who stood before Mount Sinai. Those who were at Sinai would never have accepted the Torah had they not seen the lightning and heard the thunder and the shofar and the mountain quaking. But the non-Jew, who neither saw nor heard any of these, accepted the Torah freely.

Finally, there are a few of us who fear missionaries, who assume that we will soon send out folk to save souls, people who will knock on doors and offer reading material. Nu, in a free society, are we not all allowed to spread our message? But Judaism neither targets adherents of other religions nor offers itself as an exclusive path to salvation. Judaism is not concerned with saving souls; it is concerned with saving the world.

To continue, I ask tonight, what is it that we do say to those who choose to become Jewish? Some of us indicate our grudging acceptance of them because we need people to replenish our numbers. One out of every three Jews in the world perished during the Holocaust. A similar loss, albeit not a physical one, may well be taking place through assimilation. With the mixed marriage rate nearing 50% and the Jewish birth rate at 1.8 way below replacement level, we welcome replacements. But in so saying, we also indicate how little we care for the individual seeker or for what he or she is seeking. With replacement numbers, we care only about survival for survival’s sake.

Others of us urge conversion when a mixed marriage approaches, to please or appease a future spouse or future in-laws. And while love can be a motivation to seek Judaism, love surely is not sufficient reason to become Jewish. To become Jewish to please or appease another reeks of forced conversion, something we Jews, of all people, ought to know can only cause pain and anger and rebellion. Such inauthentic conversions, said one man who struggled with his, “create bad feelings, bad Jews, and bad marriages.” Again, we care little for the individual seeker or for what he or she is seeking.

But then, many of us eventually say, in one way or another, a Jew by choice can never really become Jewish anyway, as if Jewishness were in the DNA or in the infant’s diet. We may not use those exact words but listen to these which you will recognize: He really doesn’t look Jewish. Funny, that’s not a Jewish name. Or take this story which Lena Romanof, a Jew by choice, tells in her book, Your People, My People:

One day before Thanksgiving I was in the supermarket buying some last-minute items for myself and my 87-year-old neighbor. As I turned the corner aisle I bumped into an old acquaintance, the sister of my friend Rena. Rena and I had first met when our children were in the same class at Jewish day school. [We] exchanged banal pleasantries, when she suddenly caught sight of the contents of my shopping cart. There, in plain view, was a package of pork chops, two boxes of silver tree tinsel, and a red box of Christmas cards. What was not clearly visible among the fruits and vegetables were my frozen Empire turkey,the potato blintzes, and the kosher corned beef that had been sliced on a separate slicer! Rena’s sister was clearly horrified…and blurted out, “Well, I’ll make sure my sister doesn’t send her son to your house anymore. Imagine–treif food! I’ve always had my doubts about converts.” She turned away and disappeared.

In so saying, we expose ourselves as, dare I say the word, racists. For Judaism is not a biological club. That would be the House of Windsor. And if ever there were a question, Sinai forever gave the answer. At the mountain, Judaism changed from biology to theology. A woman with whom I studied understood this. When she became Jewish, she shared these words with her congregation–“it is incumbent upon every Jew to experience the revelation as if it were she and not just her ancestors at Sinai. My ancestors were not there. But, today, I am.” For that matter, how dare we continue to use the words shiksah and shaygetz, words which come from the Hebrew root meaning abomination. How dare we even use the word goy with its negative connotation.

So, finally, we say to those who choose Judaism, become Jewish, juuuuust not too Jewish. There is the old joke of the father who keeps telling his son first not to date that non-Jewish girl and then not to marry that same non-Jewish girl. The son does and his non-Jewish wife becomes a seeker. While her husband enters his father’s business, she becomes a committed Jew. Eventually, she indicates to her husband that he should not work on Shabbat. When the husband relates the same to his father, the father retorts, “I told you not to marry that non-Jewish girl.”

Or take the tale Rabbi Schulweis tells of a Jew-by-choice named Susan. “Moved by the shiver of Jewish history and ritual symbolism, attracted to the nondogmatic character of Jewish theology and the centrality of the Jewish home,” she has studied long and seriously and, following her immersion in the mikvah, is finally invited to her Jewish in-laws-to-be for a Shabbat evening meal. The home is beautiful, the table setting gorgeous. And then the disappointment sets in. The Sabbath evening is far different from what her books and teachers had given her to believe. It is an evening bereft of benediction, no blessings over the candles or wine or bread. She had been told of zemirot, the Sabbath songs around the table, the chanting of grace after meals. But here are songless, graceless Jews, with table talk as pedestrian as the weekday dust.”….What is Jewishly distinctive? What is culture, faith, ritual choreography, particular wisdom, ethos? How is the Jewish home different from the middle-class home in general? What DO we have to say Jewishly to Susan, who takes Jewishness to heart?”

Our own insecurity regarding our Judaism, our lack of appreciation for our Judaism, our knowledge of Judaism at best that of a 13-year-old knowing some hows but no whys or wherefores, we are frightened. So, to the Susan who comes to us today saying, “Your people shall be my people and your God, my God,” we respond, “that’s more than we can handle–our God, we are not sure, and our people, yes, but.”

In an old Zen parable, a person goes searching for a lost object. Crawling on his hands and knees, a friend approaches him and asks, “What are you doing?” “I am looking for something that I lost.” “And where did you lose it?” “Over there,” comes the response from the ground with the man pointing to a place not very far from where they are. Exclaims the friend, “Then why are you looking here?” Comes the reply, “Because the light is better here.”

Tonight, I ask, you who are Jewish, listen to those who have been seeking. They know where to look. Writes Mary Hofmann, a columnist who became Jewish:

· Judaism offers rich spiritual experiences without insulting our intelligence.

· Judaism allows for, even encourages, questioning and debate.

· Judaism is the fount from which Western religions spring.

· Judaism consists of a binding contract I can respect rather than a nebulous

· faith thing based on declarations and testimonials.

· Judaism emphasizes this world and the things that need to be done to repair it.

· Judaism assumes a partnership with God and stewardship of the world.

· Judaism truly celebrates life and fills my life with spiritual nourishment and cultural traditions without demanding that I abrogate common sense.

· Judaism doesn’t purport to have a corner on salvation.

Several of the people with whom I have studied have shared similar words. One talked about a life-long quest for a Jewish life–of giving, caring, and doing mitzvot. Another sought to connect with God on a spiritual journey, to find a personal relationship with God, a life of spiritual meaning and purpose, and a spiritual pathway to and from the light of God. One of our own members, completing Anshe Mitzvah, shared these words, “I think that when I became a Jew I didn’t really ‘become’ anything, for I believe that being a Jew was something I have always meant to be—call it a destiny. Reading from the Torah tonight is for me both an empowering and humbling experience. The sense of community and strength that I experience in this congregation…is truly profound.”

Those who seek can help us find that which we lost. In their search, they remind us of what is truly important in Judaism. Judaism is neither diet nor ethnic memories; neither antisemitism lurking everywhere nor exaggerated paranoia of the dangers we face; neither death in the Holocaust nor resurrection in Israel. Judaism is all about God and Torah and the people Israel, all about living lives of holiness, acting to save this world. “Something happens to the Jew who is asked to explain the character of tradition to one outside the inborn circle,” writes Lawrence Epstein, “Called upon to interpret the spiritual conscience of Judaism and its world-wide vision to others, the Jew may gain a new self-awareness, self-esteem, and articulateness.” What is important about Judaism is not what you are born into but what you become.

So tonight, I ask, as promised, of those of you who are not Jewish, consider becoming Jewish. Join us, become truly a part of the family, be with us as we search to reclaim that which we lost. And I ask of the rest of us who are Jewish, watch the words we speak and the messages we communicate to those who wish to join us. And there are several other things we can do in the new year of 5765. In keeping with watching the words we use, let us replace the English term “Outreach” with the Hebrew term “keruv.” Reaching out may connote modifying Judaism in order to attract outsiders; keruv, from the Hebrew root meaning “to bring near or draw in,” connotes the closeness we wish to find in Judaism with those who join us. Let us bring together those most interested in keruv to help us find mentors within the congregation—such as DeWitt Clinton who has been trained by the Union to be an Outreach Fellow–to teach and to learn from those who wish to join us. Let us extend complimentary memberships in the congregation to those who wish to join us. Let us develop a learners’ minyan within the congregation so that those who wish to join us can more readily feel at home when we pray. Let us offer “A Taste of Judaism” to those who are seeking. Let us together share some special Shabbat and festival meals and celebrations. And, for all of you in search, I invite you to join our next Anshe Mitzvah program beginning in October.

5765 years since the world was created and 350 years since Jacob Barsimson and his 22 colleagues came ashore in New Amsterdam to begin American Jewish history. Yet one more significant birthday. For next year, we will celebrate 150 years of Congregation Emanu-El B’ne Jeshurun, founded when Milwaukee’s first two congregations, Imanuel and Ahavat Emuno, merged. As those who sought God here on these shores of Lake Michigan 150 years ago, so may Emanu-El B’ne Jeshurun again be home to all seekers, a home to all who are in search, a community of warmth and welcome.

AMEN